Monday, June 26, 2006

What is a Survival Cookie?

Over this past weekend I read my blog… something that I have not done since its conception many months ago. As I sit here trying to make a final decision on the “direction” I’m trying to go – I find myself going back to the original idea… survival cookies. Of course, one would have to know exactly what a “survival cookie” is in order to use it as a compass in guiding ones direction. So I will endeavor to define…

It was a cold and wet evening, the camp fire had finally grown to the point where I didn’t need to nurse it every few seconds to keep it alive. The crackling of wood and vents of steam from water soaked logs had diminished substantially. The sensation to my fingers had begun to return… providing exquisite pain to my limbs (exquisite because it meant they weren’t going to fall off). The snow was piled a good eight to nine feet all around me. The heat from the fire was beginning to smooth the surrounding snow, turning the rough patchy walls into a uniformed glaze that would eventually form a hard icy shell. There was something… something primal, something that has been engrained into my genetic code that caused me to stare…I sat fixated on the flames.

For the first time in days I opened my pack and retrieved the glossy green plastic package labeled “MRE” (Meal Ready to Eat). There are those that delight in the consumption of these pre-Vietnam era meals… I am not one of those. I respect the MRE, I respect its place in the military campaign and I respect the nutrients it will provide. But given the option of just about any other food source – I might pass on the whole “meal ready to eat” concept. Just the morning before, I found a frozen tree stump… I managed to peel back some bark and found a lovely nest of beetles and larva. They were slow moving because of the cold and provided me that protein boost I so desperately needed. But that was yesterday morning – some 36 hours ago… and a MRE is a prime rib dinner with lobster bisque at this point (if by “prime rib” you mean “beef stew” and by “lobster bisque” you mean “apple sauce”).

I mentioned some time ago, I drink my coffee black. MRE’s provide the consumer with a coffee packet, powdered cream and sugar. In order to preserve the powdered cream (keep it dry) it comes in a foil packet covered in paper. As I don’t use the cream and sugar (and nothing is ever wasted in the field), I learned a neat little trick. I mix the powdered cream and the sugar together and place the dry mixture back into the foil powdered cream packet. I then fold the packet shut and place it at the edge of the fire (not directly in it – but close). The heat of the fire melts the sugar, and mixes it with the powdered cream. Once the paper starts to burn off the foil, remove the packet. Inside you have baked a little vanilla cookie… a survival cookie if you wish. You would be surprised how such a tiny, mundane thing as a cookie can provide happiness in an environment where emotional well-being is your greatest asset.

Perhaps a Survival Cookie is that thing… that tiny mundane thing that gives us hope when hope is hard to find.

To call the first six-months of Combat Survival Training a “Tech-School” (as the military does) is akin to calling what’s going on in Iraq a “Training Exercise” (something the military often does as well).

In six months we had survived in every environment conceivable on this planet. Extremes like desert and artic were a given. Jungle and coastal was a cake walk (food-a-plenty). Days in a rubber raft in the swelling ocean, I laugh at dehydration and salt wound blisters...serve me up another seagull, the taste of garbage and crude oil is mother’s milk. Walking non-stop for nearly a week with a 130-pound pack, bring it on baby… bloody feet are “character builders”. Top it all off with being constantly antagonized, belittled and pursued… who wouldn’t love this?

And for what…Glory? Respect? Hell no… at this point it’s to prove to ourselves that we can do this. We needed to prove that we couldn’t be broken by nature, or by god or by that prick with the Tech Sergeant stripes. In the end we would stand tall and receive our badge – that little cookie shaped piece of metal that let’s the world know we survived.

Is a survival cookie a badge of honor? Is it something that authenticates your abilities and validates your triumphs? If so, does it need to be of metal and worn on your chest or could it be made of moments and decisions and worn on your face or on your soul?

Webster defines Survival as: a state of surviving (cheap ass answer); remaining alive or a natural process resulting in the evolution of organisms’ best adapted to the environment.

While a Cookie is defined as: any of various small flat sweet cakes (`biscuit' is the British term), the cook on a ranch or at a camp or a short line of text that a web site puts on your computer's hard drive when you access the web site.

This is relatively pointless – as Survival Cookie takes on a whole new meaning (in my mind anyway) and becomes more then the sum of its parts.

So where does that leave us?

For me – a survival cookie is that thing (be it physical or an idea) that allows us to continue despite ourselves.

- Hope that helps

Monday, June 12, 2006

Idiot Box

As the summer arrives – those wonderful advertisements for new television shows bombard my idiot box. I enjoy the feeling of anticipation that occurs with a potentially promising new show. The hope that a pilot will shine brightly and eventually grow… filling a dark and bleak timeslot with its HDTV radiance and keep us warm well into the Fall and Winter season. But alas – the night sky is void of any new illumination this summer. The rerun gods will be pleased.

For the record: Enough of the Reality shows… my god, how much is too much? I don’t know about the rest of you… but I’ve had about enough of the whole “reality TV” thing. You want to get my attention with “reality TV”? Take the creators of these reality TV shows and place them on an island… with wild hungry dingoes… and the contestants wear clothing made of bacon… now that’s good TV.

I’m tired of new shows about folks in the legal profession (mainly Lawyers, Detectives and Police), those in the medical profession (Doctors, Interns and Paramedics) and I’m bored with government super agents saving the world. There should be a quota for these types of shows… something like five lawyer shows per season, if a lawyer show is cancelled – then it can be replaced by a new lawyer show (or not), but the total number can not exceed five. It’s just an idea… perhaps it would make writers start using their creativity instead of regurgitating old ideas blended with bad ideas.

Any idiot can come up with an old idea and make it bad… how about a cop show (old idea) that uses the newest technology to bring down the bad guys (bad idea?). Call the hero Nick Edge (sounds dangerous) and the show would be called “The Bleeding Edge” (see – it writes itself). Add a sexy female computer geek side-kick (what guy wouldn’t want that) and you have ratings ‘gold’.

How about a Lawyer that can see dead people (seeing dead people is quite popular now) call it “Grave Justice”, or how about a Massachusetts Physician that is teleported back to 1692; uses his (or her) advanced knowledge of medicine to save town folks and we can call the show “Witch Doctor” (that actually might be too good for prime time television – trash that idea). Here’s one – a fetal alcohol syndrome hick with brain damage grows-up to be President of the United States… oh wait, I said no more Reality TV.

Well, you get the idea… it’s easy to come up with something new. So I plead – give us something new and refreshing. If they can’t think of something – have a reality show where writers compete to create an original TV show… those that fail, get to wear Bacon shorts on Dingo Island… just an idea.

* Nick Edge, Bleeding Edge, Grave Justice, Witch Doctor and Dingo Island are property of Survival Cookies and all rights are reserved. As for the reality tragedy “My Daddy wuz President and so be I” – I take no responsibility.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

How is this relevant?

I try to be good; try not to express my views on political crap… but this was too good to pass up.

California is wonderful place to live. I could go on and on about it… but every now and then a proposed law pops-up that is just… well… idiotic.

If you were a high school student learning philosophy – you may discuss the works of Socrates and/or Plato. While studying history, you might read about King Richard the Lion-hearted, Lawrence of Arabia, Kaiser Wilhelm II or Susan B. Anthony. In Literature, the works of Oscar Wilde, Emerson or Emily Dickinson might be perused. Well soon (if passed into law), the history books might say “Alexander Hamilton (January 11, 1757 – July 12, 1804) was an American politician, statesman, writer, lawyer, soldier and homosexual.” How the hell is this relevant?

The California State Senate approved a Bill recently that requires the identification of the sexual preference of historical figures in school textbooks if the historical figure was gay. Which, if the sexual orientation was somehow relevant to the lesson being taught – is fine. But this law would require a notation regardless of significance. For the life of me, I don’t understand what could possibly be gained by this sort of insertion (pardon the pun). The sexual preference of a historical figure (if not relevant to their historical contribution) is just textual fluff, irrelevant gribble to detract from their historical notoriety. I think it demeans the act that made them historical by blindly tossing in insignificant factoids because the law demands it. Let’s discuss their religion: Albert Einstein was a brilliant Jew. How about dietary desires: After a good beheading, Henry the 8th enjoyed his pudding. Oh, those are not acceptable comments… but text such as “after defeating the Persian Army, Alexander the Great enjoyed the silky pleasures of Asian boys” are within the boundaries. Why? What’s to be gained here?

Advocates of the law claim it will make gay students relate better to historical figures (and not feel outcaste) and straight student will appreciate the accomplishments of gays in history. But does it take a commonality in sexual orientation to make students relate to those in textbooks? “Benjamin Franklin was a politician, writer, inventor… and loved vagina”. Oh, I see how this makes me relate to him more on a humanistic level. I thought he was great man before – but the fact that he enjoyed a piece of poontang as well – damn; maybe I can be a politician, writer or inventor too. Oh look – it says that not only did Abraham Lincoln create the Emancipation Proclamation, he also was a strict heterosexual… that far outweighs any work he did to abolish slavery. Right? Do you look at Gandhi any different knowing he was straight? I sure do.

Oh Please…

A law that mandates textbooks to pen the sexual preferences of notable individuals is idiotic… period. If it’s so important to disclose the sexual appetites of those that made their way to the textbooks of our schools – then my education was surly diminished as a student. It’s my recollection that Joan of Arc wasn’t burned at the stake for being a lesbian, so it really doesn’t add or detract from her role in history (although, as a teenage boy, it would have placed images in my mind that would have distracted from the lesson).

So, this weekend enjoy the “The Da Vinci Code” – you can enjoy it more knowing that Leonardo Da Vinci was gay… or you can care less… as I choose.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Putting the “Illegal” into “Illegal Immigrant”

With the rain finally gone (sunny weather – yeah), I’ve been working on the yard. Tough work… the grass has had nearly three months to become officially ‘un-mowable’. I had to resort to hedge-trimming the grass, mowing, raking, bagging, and repeat. After two days (two sweaty and often painful days), I was ready to go down to the corner (by a local 7-11) and grab two or three guys to help me out. They are eager to work and I can pay them half of what I’d have to pay the neighbor’s kid, and they would do a far better job. However, that might be illegal.

I’m trying to get a grasp on what’s going on today – from everything I read, it appears that the government wants to crack down on illegal immigrants. This makes sense as 7.2 million illegal immigrants hold jobs in the United States, making up 4.9 percent of the overall labor force (according to a recent study by the Pew Hispanic Center).

So where I’m confused – why are legal immigrants so upset? Millions of legal immigrants plan to relay today (The Day without Immigrants) in protest to a bill (which stalled in the Senate) that:

A. Would make felons of the illegal immigrants
B. Calls for new walls on 700 miles of the 2,000-mile U.S.-Mexican border

Now the illegal immigrants, they should be upset. Becoming a felon means (if captured) you will be arrested, fingerprinted and (if not serving jail time) would be expelled from the country – never to return again (which is silly, because they weren’t allowed here in the first place – and that didn’t stop them). Some of the illegal immigrants working in the US are working under false documents and are actually paying taxes, social security and other monies – all going into a system that they are not legally a part of – so they will never receive the benefits.

I’m all for immigration – America was built on immigrants and has a long (if you consider 225+ years long for a Country) history of supporting immigrant workers. Is it so terribly wrong that the Country wants to provide work and benefits to those that came to the country legally? Is it so difficult to comprehend that perhaps – sneaking into the country, finding illegal employment and avoiding taxes (not all – but most) should be considered a crime? Hell, we already call them “illegal Immigrants” – this just puts a consequence on the position.

Undocumented workers make up 24 percent of farm workers and hold 14 percent of construction jobs. I’m sure they are doing an excellent job, but that’s not really the point. The point is – in order to legally work in this country; you must be a citizen, hold a green card or have a work visa – otherwise, you are ‘illegal’.

If Americans are worried about paying more at the grocery store because ‘legal’ farm workers get ‘legal’ salaries, benefits and (god forbid) proper working conditions – all contributing to the extra $.75 a piece for avocados, then consider this… there were 6-1/2 million farms in America in 1935, 5-1/2 million in 1950, and a 1997 census counted only 1,911,859 farms remaining (due to government involvement and restrictions - but that is a rant for another time).

I’m sure most of the anger (from the legal immigrants) stems from either the fact that ‘they’ themselves were once illegal or that they have family and/or friends that are illegal. But I ask them this – is it wrong for a country to want its working force to be legally protected (against unfair or dangerous working conditions, substandard salaries and guaranteed fair employment practices), fiscally responsible (paying towards retirement, social security and taxes) and accountable (insured)?

As far as the ‘Great Wall’ of America – its only 700 miles of over 2000 miles separating the US from Mexico… there’s plenty of room to ‘squeeze’ in. With an estimated number of more than 11 million illegal immigrants in the United States (the population of Ohio) – illegal immigrants will always find a way into the US… we just don’t want to make it comfortable.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Dirty Little Secret

So it’s not like this information isn’t out there… it’s available for anyone who is brave enough to investigate. Top People (which people? “Top People”) are aware of this and now I will perform my moral duty and inform the “bottom” (“middle” if you prefer) people.

I’ll start by introducing a very simple business concept. Do not base your business on obsolete technology. Pretty straight forward – this also means, don’t base a business on a resource that is on its way to becoming extinct. A business that uses Dodo Bird feathers to stuff pillows might have difficulty, as they have been extinct since the mid-1600s.

So what’s the secret? Well – did you know the last new Oil Refinery was built in the United States back in 1976? With oil becoming so expensive and the need becoming so high… why aren’t they building anymore?

It appears to be “big business” – with approximately 27% of what we pay at the pump going to refining (just heard this morning that we are at $3.00 a gallon here in San Francisco and this morning a barrel of oil hit $68), so why aren’t they cranking out the refineries? Perhaps it’s the same reason many oil companies are not replacing their retired oil tankers… they know it’s a dead-end business.

Harsh reality, we have about 40 years of fossil fuel left (if that)… period. Now maybe this is a secret like "Uncle Joe is a lush" or "Cousin Harold is gay"… we all knew it… but now we have to face it.

Technology might allow us to find oil quicker, extract it more efficiently and process it more inexpensively – but investments towards that technology have no long term benefits. Why would you invest in a business where the key component was running dry? You wouldn’t – its bad business.

They knew back in 1964 that the worlds demand on oil would overwhelm the available supply. By 1986 more oil had been consumed daily than was being discovered (almost twice as much). We have been warned – but damn it, we like to burn fossil fuel. So I say “go for it”, burn it all up – indulge. If nothing else, humans adapt. Once Supply and Demand becomes frenzied with the finality of it all, and prices reach ranges outside most individuals’ ability to pay – then perhaps people will take this seriously.

Oh, one more thing – I don’t want to hear about “electric cars” and hybrids as the answer to our problems. I’m all for electric cars… to drive around town. But I don’t see an electric commercial airliner taking 300+ passengers across the Atlantic. So if you have children… I encourage you to take them on a trip to another country now, because when they get older, all flights may be cancelled.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Um...

So I walked into the Federal building today and there was this massive line to pass security. People had to empty their pockets and remove loose change, keys, jewelry and other metallic items before passing through the metal detectors.

I was in far too much of a hurry and walked along the side (bypassing the detector) and was immediately stopped by a police officer. Fortunately, I had my cell phone in my hand and I was able to punch the officer in the chest. He immediately noticed I was white – and everything was alright.

Um… yea.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Time

I remember when I was growing-up that more often then not, people would forget about daylight savings time. There were times when entire neighborhoods would forget and be an hour off for days. Well that’s not going to happen anymore.

Sunday morning my Cable box, TiVo, Cell phone, computer and coffee maker all knew it was daylight savings. This is a two-sided sword. I like this convenience of having my electronic paraphernalia set their own time… but I also like to have control of what I say the time is. For example – I like to set some clocks ahead by ten minutes. This gives me the impression that it’s later then it actually is and motivates me to “dally” less (which helps to ensure my timeliness). Time is something that should remain relative – and in “my world” all my household appliances are not required to sync with the United States Naval Observatory.

On the topic of “time” – what the hell are television-shows doing running 65 minutes? This is like some new fad that I find really annoying. This forces other shows to start at 5-minutes after the hour and completely screws up my recording efforts.

But I’ll step down – It’s been a wild week (last week) and the constant humming of my sump pump has been keeping me awake at night (rain 25 out of 31 days last month). I’ll start building the Arc in the morning, if I can find the time.

Peace.